Dan & Catt - You know you're an English teacher in South Korea if/when...

We stole most of this post from a friend on Facebook.  But it was just too great not to share!!!  :-)

Love and miss you all!!!  <3  

• Your first week at your new job you use students with the appropriate school uniforms as your signal to get off the bus at the right stop
• Every electronic device in your school has a Samsung or LG label
• Your stove has a Samsung or LG label.
• Your fridge has a Samsung of LG label.
• Your washing machine has a Samsung or LG label.
• Your school's air conditioning unit has a Samsung or LG label.
• You start to wonder if you have a Samsung or LG label.
• Your students can be motivated to do anything if candies are a reward, specifically chocolate
• Lunch will always include rice and kimchi and finding tentacles and/or bones in your soup no longer surprises you.
• Choking on the tiny bones while eating fish adds texture to the meal.
• Calling in sick is strongly discouraged because it demonstrates a lack of diligence, however sleeping at your desk is completely acceptable (for your Korean co-workers at least)
• Kakao is great method of communication with friends and family
• All the "white" people in your suburb are either English teachers or Mormon missionaries
• Your students have never been taught to cover their mouths when sneezing and/or coughing.
• Even when you are not at school you talk slowly, use exaggerated pronunciation and hand motions, and pause after each sentence expecting people to repeat after you.
• Fire drills nearly give you a heart attack because you didn't understand the announcement 5 minutes prior warning of the upcoming drill
• There's soju and other alcoholic beverages in staff fridge.
• You've learned not to ask what your food is. 
• You wasted space in your suitcase packing dress shoes you never wear 
• Your greatest embarrassment is forgetting to change your shoes when you leave work and you find yourself on the bus home still wearing your indoor slippers
• You no longer listen when you hear adults use your name - more often than not your colleagues are talking about you, not to you.
• Scooters run a red light and narrowly miss you everyday and you barely notice them.
• You wonder if the name on your passport should be changed to "Waygook" (foreigner) because that's often what people call you
• You have a choice whether to use western toilets or squatty potties in the bathroom. The used T.P. does not get flushed and there is no paper towel to dry your hands
• It's not weird when you see the two male coteacher friends holding hands to show their friendship.
• Your commute to work includes passing 8 hagwons (private academies), 3 Taekwondo studios, 1 Home Plus, 5 GS25 convenient stores, 2 Angel-in-us coffee shops, 10 Korean barbecue restaurants, 2 pool halls, 1 Lotteria, 3 SK gas stations, multiple old women selling fresh produce on the sidewalk, 28 cell phone stores, and your bus driver nearly hitting 1 McDonalds delivery boy on a scooter
• Your decision to walk to school for exercise means risking being turned into a pancake by a motorized vehicle....WHILE WALKING ON THE SIDEWALK
• Doors in your school and apartment slide open and shut
• You find there's nothing wrong with the students sharpening their pencils with a box cutter like an inmate fashioning a shank.
• Rock, Paper, Scissors games might include dozens of players at once and are likely to cause bruises and/or draw blood.
• Your students ask you your blood type, relationship status, religion and age on a regular basis. They never remember.
• Accidentally wearing the same color shirt as your male co-teacher gets students excited because they think you are dating.
• There are official policies and dates for when the air con and heat are allowed to be operated. If extreme temperatures occur outside these approved dates, too bad. Therefore you wear a coat and gloves inside
• Essay/speaking contest submissions might include writings stating the reasons Dokdo belongs to South Korea and not Japan.
• Essay/speaking contest submissions might include this teenager's opinion of why all Japanese should die.
• 99% of your students wear glasses, even if they have no visual impairment
• The day your ARC (Alien Residency Card) arrived was the happiest day of your life because it allowed you to get a bank account (and therefore a paycheck), a cell phone, home internet, etc.
• Your female co-workers look as if they are about to go to a photo shoot and your male co-workers dress as if they will be climbing Mt. Everest after work
• Your hair or skin have ever been touched by strangers to see if they are "natural"
• The students have matching PE sweatsuits.
• You have ever had trouble typing lessons plans after lunch due to chopstick cramps.
• Walking down the hall means getting whiplash from bowing repeatedly 
• Students repeatedly say "I love you teacher, you are beautiful" to try and get out of doing work.
• You have ridden the bus with a monk multiple times.
• You start to say "Nice-uh!" instead of "nice!".
• You nod and say "neh" whenever someone speaks to you in Korean.
• When November rolls around you learn the word "Chooah". You hear your coteachers repeat it constantly over the next few months.
• You are ranked by your coworkers in every way imaginable. 
• You're always able to join a group of other foreigners to go drinking every weekend. You often do.
• Surprise schedule changes are no longer a surprise. 
• You have your own student fan club.
• You go from finding ajummas entertaining to finding them fucking terrifying. 
• You feel like you are defined by American media. 
• In the winter all you want to do is crawl in your heated bed and mess around on your laptop.
• The highlight of your day is running staff messages on coolmessenger through Google Translate.
• The next time anyone not in Korea mentions North Korea and whatever Scooby Doo antics they're up to you have a desire to punch them in the face through the phone/screen.
• You never assume what toppings will be on your pizza.
• Homesickness is (mostly) cured by a Costco trip.
• Your apartment location can be described by the nearest Paris Baguette and/or convenience store.